Why did the chicken cross the road?

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

Postby mike on Tue Dec 14, 2004 6:48 am

Al Gore:
I fight for the chickens! I will not give up on the chickens crossing he road! I will fight for the chickens, and I will not disappoint them!

Senator Lieberman:

I believe that every chicken has right to worship their God in their own way. Crossing the road is a spiritual journey, and no chicken should be denied the right to cross the road in their own way.

Ralph Nader:

Our society pays auto makers to create the need for these roads and then lures chickens into believing there is a benefit in crossing them. Down with the roads! Up with the chickens!

Pat Buchanan:

To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

Martin Luther King, Jr.:

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross the road without having their motives called into question.

Grandpa:

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

Karl Marx:

It was a historical inevitability.

Saddam Hussen:

It was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Ronald Reagan:

What chicken?

Pyrrho the Skeptic:

What road?

Captain James T. Kirk:

To boldly go where no chicken has gone before!

Mr. Spock:

It seemed like the logical thing for the chicken to do at the time.

Bill Gates:

We have just released e-Chicken 5.0 which will not only cross roads but also lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. The Internet Explorer is now an inextricable part of e-Chicken.

Albert Einstein:

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

Louis Farrakhan:

The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

Moses:

And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road!" And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

Colonel Sanders:

I missed one?

Sir Isaac Newton:

A chicken at rest will stay at rest, a chickens in motion will cross the road.

Aristotle:

To actualize its potential.

Werner Heisenberg:

We can never be certain the chicken crossed the road.

Charles Darwin:

It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

Mark Twain:

The news of the chicken's crossing the road has been greatly exaggerated.

Aristotle:

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

Douglas Adams:

Forty-two.

Bill Clinton:

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken! What do you mean by "chicken"? Could you define "chicken" please?

Hillary Clinton:

It was part of a right-wing conspiracy against my husband.

Rush Limbaugh:

I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with the road-crossing syndrome.

Voltaire:

I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.

Caesar:

To come, to see, to conquer.

The Sphinx:

You tell me.

The Buddha:

If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.

George W. Bush:

We don't care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not.

Tony Blair:

I agree with George.

Homer Simpson:

Mmmmmmm... chicken!

Erwin Schr?dinger:

The chicken was simultaneously on both sides of the road until it was observed and its wave function collapsed.

Ozzy Osbourne:

To $&#%@*^ get to the other side of the $&#%@*^ road. And look at the $&#%@*^ mess it left on the $&#%@*^ centerline!

Mohammed Saeed Al Sahaf, the Iraqi Information Minister:

The chicken never crossed the road. That's part of the stupid American propaganda. We do not even have chickens in Iraq!

Joseph Stalin:

I don't care. I want it arrested, interrogated and charged with treason. Then I want it cooked.

Fidel Castro:

The chicken was running away from capitalist oppression and was on its way to Cuba where all chickens are equal.

Johnny Cochran:

The evidence of the chicken having crossed the road was obviously planted there by the police!

Hemingway:

To die, in the rain.
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Postby Howie on Tue Dec 14, 2004 12:14 pm

I was expecting a very unique answer for this one, instead there's a hundred - a lot of them funny. Thanks :lol:
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Postby Fiend on Tue Dec 14, 2004 2:13 pm

George W Bush:
because freedom is on the march; it's hard work

Condoleeza Rice:
I've heard of this chicken, but it's really historical data w/ no new threat information.


Michael Moore:
We followed the chicken w/ a camera crew, but it refused to answer our questions.

John Kerry:
It was reporting for duty.

Colon Powell:
gives two hour presentation to the UN, proving that the chicken was seeking weapons of mass destruction.

Tony Soprano:
has panic attack when chicken brings up obscure memory of his mother.

Osama bin Laden:
releases a video tape in which he mentions the chicken, proving he's still alive.

Alan Greenspan:
mumbels something about the chicken, sending the stock market down 2 points.

Jerry Falwell:
the chicken was cast off to the other side of the road because god is angry that Will and Grace is still on prime time.

Ross Perot:
Points to a pie chart, blames it on NAFA, then gives up.

Napoleon:
Admires the way in which the chicken struts

General Ripper:
Mandrake, have you ever seen a chicken drink a glass of water?
Image
Well, I, uh, don't think it's quite fair to condemn a whole program because of a single slip-up, sir.
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